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| Chapter 1: THE TEXAN
The novel begins with Yossarian in the hospital. He suffers from a pain
in the liver. The doctors do not know what to make of Yossarian’s
illness. Yossarian is enjoying his stay. His meals are brought to him
in bed, and he is served more food than at camp.
Yossarian writes letters to his friends and relatives, telling them
that he has been sent on a "very dangerous mission," and then never
writes to them again. While in hospital, Yossarian is given the dreary
task of censoring letters written by enlisted-men patients. He finds
this a monotonous job and begins to tamper with the material in these
letters to keep himself amused. On one of the letters he signs the name
of his group’s chaplain, Tappman. On others he signs the name
"Washington Irving." A C.I.D man is sent into the hospital to find out
who is responsible for the tampering of letters.
Dunbar, too, is in the ward. A Texan is brought in who is "good-
natured, generous and likable" and neither Dunbar nor Yossarian like
him. There is also a "soldier in white," a patient who is encased from
head to toe in plaster and gauze. One day the soldier dies, and Dunbar
and Yossarian charge the Texan with his murder.
The chaplain comes to visit Yossarian. He is genuinely concerned about
Yossarian’s health. Yossarian confesses that he is not really sick.
Yossarian and Dunbar claim that they are well, and leave the hospital
to escape the Texan. However, the C.I.D. man has fallen sick and
remains in hospital.
Chapter 2: CLEVINGER
Yossarian lives in a tent along with his roommate Orr. Orr is described
as "a grinning pygmy with pilot’s wings." He is very enterprising and
has equipped the tent with a fireplace, running water and a cement
floor. In the next tent lives Havermeyer. He shoots tiny field mice
every night.
McWatt and Nately have a tent close by. McWatt is a "crazy" pilot who
flies his plane as low as possible over Yossarian’s tent to frighten
him. Nately is in love with a Roman prostitute. Another officer,
Appleby believes in God, Motherhood, and the American way of life.
Yossarian hates Appleby.
Yossarian is now out of hospital. Before he had entered the hospital,
Yossarian had told Clevinger that some people were trying to kill him
(Yossarian), but that he had no idea who they were. Yossarian believes
that they will not succeed in killing him because he is a hero: "a
Tarzan, Mandrake, Flash Gordon." Clevinger tells Yossarian that he is
crazy.
Yossarian meets Doc Daneeka and asks to be taken off combat duty and
sent home. Daneeka tells him that he must complete fifty missions in
order to be sent home as Cathcart has raised the required number.
Yossarian has only completed forty-four.
Chapter 3: HAVERMAYER
Yossarian imagines that there is a dead man in his tent. He complains
to sergeant Towser about it, but the sergeant refuses to acknowledge
the existence of the dead man. Yossarian tries to appeal directly to
the squadron commander, Major Major; but the Major evades him by
jumping out of the office window each time Yossarian comes to meet him.
Orr tells Yossarian that he walks about with crab apples in his cheeks
because he wants to get big apple cheeks. Yossarian cannot understand
why Orr wants big cheeks.
Daneeka tells Yossarian to accept life as it is: to "smile and make the
best of it" as Havermeyer does. Havermeyer is a lead bombardier like
Yossarian. He never takes evasive action while going into the target,
and never misses. By comparison, Yossarian does not give a damn whether
he hits the target. His only aim is to stay alive for as long as
possible.
One night after Havermeyer has fired a shot at a field mouse, Hungry
Joe comes running out toward him and fires shots into Havermeyer’s
tent. In the dark, Hungry Joe falls into an open trench, and is
discovered the next morning amid snakes, rats, and spiders. Havermeyer
insists that Hungry Joe is crazy.
Chapter 4: DOC DANEEKA
Doc Daneeka is unhappy about being called upon to do service in the
war. He prefers staying at home and making money as a doctor. He lives
in constant dread of being transferred to the Pacific theater. He hates
flying but must spend some flight time every month to receive his pay.
He has his name forged on McWatt’s flight log for trips to Rome. This
gets Daneeka into trouble later, when McWatt crushes his plane and
Daneeka is believed to have been on board.
Educational sessions are held for the men, at which they are allowed to
ask questions. But the Air Force top brass are alarmed when Yossarian
asks a question about Snowden, who had been killed in a mission over
Avignon; the educational sessions are subsequently stopped.
Ex-P.F.C. Wintergreen, in the mailroom, identifies himself as T. S.
Eliot on the phone to Colonel Cargill. Thus an entire new set of
questions start circulating amid the higher officers. General Peckem is
furious as he believes it is a prankster.
Chapter 5: CHIEF WHITE HALFOAT
Chief White Halfoat is Daneeka’s roommate. He is a "handsome, swarthy
Indian from Oklahoma" who hates foreigners. Though he can barely read
or write, he is appointed assistant intelligence officer to Captain
Black. Chief Halfoat tells Yossarian and Daneeka about his family, who
had an uncanny knack for finding oil. Oil prospectors would follow his
family everywhere they went. This caused the family’s destruction.
Yossarian asks Dareeka whether he can ground someone in the
affirmative. Yossarian asks the doctor if he would ground Orr since he
is "crazy." Dareeka says he would if Orr asked him to. But, there is a
catch, which the doctor calls "Catch-22": "Anyone who wants to get out
of combat duty isn’t really crazy."
Chapter 6: HUNGRY JOE
Hungry Joe is an "emaciated wretch" who hungers not only for food, but
also for women. He constantly tries to take photographs of nude girls.
He tries to convince girls to pose for him by claiming that he is a
photographer, working for Life magazine. However, his snaps never come
out, either because he forgets to put film in the camera or turn on
lights or remove the lens cover. Prostitutes were only too delighted to
pose for him.
Hungry Joe was a war hero who had flown six combat tours of duty more
than any other in the Air Force. Every night he is not sent on a
mission, he has nightmares. As soon as he is put back in combat he is
relieved. He then settles down into "a normal state of terror."
Yossarian thinks of Kraft who had been killed when Yossarian led his
team of bombardiers a second time over Ferrara. Captain Flume, the
public relations officer, who shares a trailer with Halfoat, lives in
mortal dread of him. One night Halfoat threatens to slit open Flume’s
throat. Though he is only joking, Flume takes the threat seriously, and
is unable to sleep peacefully. Orr attacks Appleby with his paddle
while the two are playing a game of Ping-Pong. It sets off a chain
reaction in which Appleby punches HUNGRY JOEHalfoat, who in turn busts
Colonel Moodus in the nose.
Chapter 7: McWATT
Yossarian is visited by Milo Minderbinder, the new mess officer. Milo
has come to find out why Daneeka has asked for Yossarian to be given
all the dried fruit and fruit juices he desires. Yossarian explains
that he has a liver condition and has been advised to eat fruit. Yet
Yossarian does not eat the fruit sent to him. Dunbar and Aarfy to eat
most of it. Nately even takes a whole load of fruit to Rome and
presents it to the prostitute, who in turn trades it on the black
market for costume jewelry and cheap perfume.
Milo believes Yossarian is illegally exporting fruit and wants to be
his partner. Yossarian turns him down. Milo wants to form a syndicate
to do business in which every man will have a share..
Chapter 8: LIEUTENANT SCHEISSKOPF
When Clevinger and Yossarian were cadets in Santa Ana, Lieutenant
Scheisskopf was their commanding officer. Lieutenant Scheisskopf
suffers from chronic sinus trouble and has poor eyesight. Hence, he is
never sent overseas in war time.
While the lieutenant is busy planning parades, his wife sleeps with
every cadet in the squadron. Yossarian has affairs with both Mrs.
Scheisskopf and the lieutenant’s mistress, Dori Duz.
Scheisskopf comes up with a master plan for his parades. He holds
practices in the dead of night to keep this plan a secret. The men
continually bump into each other in the dark at these practices.
Scheisskopf wishes to win the parade which is held in every Sunday. His
master plan, that the men should not swing their hands while marching,
is a great success. He wins the parade and is elevated to the rank of
First Lieutenant. He is hailed as a military genius.
Clevinger appears before an Action Board to answer the charges that
Scheisskopf has placed against him. The Action Board hurls unanswerable
questions at Clevinger, and gets angry when he cannot answer them. The
bloated colonel is particularly harsh and uncompromising. He sentences
Clevinger to fifty-seven punishment tours. Clevinger comes to the
conclusion that the members of the Action Board hate him even more than
the Nazis.
Chapter 9: Major Major
Major Major was born mediocre, achieved mediocrity, and had mediocrity
thrust upon him. In his early years Major Major’s name was a source of
great unhappiness to him. In a moment of mischief, his father had given
him the name, Major Major. His mother dies of shock after hearing the
name; his schoolmates shun him, and elders dislike him.
Major Major is elevated to the rank of Major because the computer reads
his name as his rank. He is appointed squadron commander. Major signs
"Washington Irving" on official documents because he is bored and
dissatisfied. A C.I.D man meets Major Major and questions him about the
identity of the man who signs Washington Irving’s name to documents and
letters. The C.I.D suspects that it is Tappman who is responsible for
tampering with the letters and forging false signatures.
The first C.I.D man, who had been sent to Yossarian’s hospital, meets
Major Major. Both C.I.D men suspect the other of being "Washington
Irving." Major Major now begins to sign John Milton’s name to
documents. He begins to add comments on Milton’s character.
Major tells Towser that he does not want to see anyone in his office
ever again. He asks Milo to serve him all his meals in his trailer.
Major avoids meeting his men and becomes a recluse. One day, Yossarian
succeeds in meeting him and tells him that he does not want fly more
combat missions because he is afraid. Major tells Yossarian that he
will allow him to pick his own missions. Yossarian refuses the offer.
He wants to go home. There is nothing Major can do.
Chapter 10: WINTERGREEN
Clevinger’s plane disappears in a bombing over Elba. He is assumed dead.
As a cadet, Wintergreen would go AWOL and as punishment would dig and
then fill up holes. Thus he manages to remain in cadet school, hoping
that the war will be over before he would be sent to the front.
Appleby reports Yossarian for refusing to take his malaria tablets.
Towser tells Appleby that Major never sees anybody in his office.
Appleby is furious and writes a report on Yossarian’s behavior and
leaves.
Mudd, whose belongings are in Yossarian’s tent, was known to very few
of his fellow soldiers. Towser thinks it was a colossal waste to bring
Mudd all the way to Pianosa, only for the Germans to shoot him down two
hours after his arrival.
An atmosphere of tension and impending doom prevails a week after
Mudd’s death, as the men prepare for the Great Siege of Bologna. Dr.
Stubbs describes Yossarian as the only sane man left, because he does
not want to go to Bologna.
Chapter 11: CAPTAIN BLACK
Captain Black, the squadron intelligence officer, is thrilled to hear
about the siege of Bologna. He gets pleasure out of watching the
anxious soldiers’ faces. Seeing everyone in the squadron afraid, the
Captain is reminded of the days of his Loyalty Oath crusade.
Black holds a grudge against Major because Major had been appointed
squadron commander instead of him. Infuriated, Black announces that
Major is a communist. He forces all the men who enter his tent to sign
Loyalty Oaths in order to prove their allegiance to their country. The
men have to sign Loyalty Oaths to receive parachutes or map cases, or
even to get food. Sometimes Black even forces them to sing "The
Star-spangled Banner" in order to prove their patriotism. Black does
not allow Major to sign loyalty. He asks Milo to starve Major by not
bringing food to him, and tells Daneeka not to attend him. One day,
Major de Coverley comes from Rome and puts an end to Black’s crusade.
Chapter 12: BOLOGNA
Cathcart has volunteered his men for the missions to Bologna. It begins
to rain and the mission is postponed. The men do not want to go because
they fear they will be killed. They begin to hate the bomb line. At one
time, Yossarian asks Corporal Snark to put laundry soap in the sweet
potatoes so that all the men get diarrhea and the mission will be
postponed.
Wintergreen tries to sell stolen cigarette lighters to Yossarian.
Wintergreen considers this his job. He believes that it is Yossarian’s
job to go to Bologna, and die, if necessary.
Yossarian gets drunk at the officer’s club, and Dunbar has to help him
get back to camp. Returning from the club they have a small accident
when Halfoat’s jeep turns over. When they reach the camp, they hear Joe
screaming because he has had a nightmare. The rain stops.
In the middle of the night, Yossarian moves the bomb line up over
Bologna. The mission is canceled as Cathcart believes that the Allies
have captured Bologna.
Chapter 13: Major DE COVERLEY
Each time a German-held city falls to the Allies, Major de Coverley
would have himself flown there. Within a day or two he would have
finished renting some apartments for officers and enlisted men. These
apartments are suitably furnished and staffed with "jolly cooks and
maids." The apartments doubled as dens of pleasure.
In one of these buildings, Yossarian meets the maid with the
lime-colored panties. In Rome, while leading a triumphal procession, de
Coverley is injured by a flower thrown at him.
De Coverley sanctions a separate plane for Milo to bring fresh eggs
from Malta. The major also appoints Milo as mess officer. Milo brings
back all kinds of exotic and extravagant food.
Yossarian is questioned why he had led a second bombing run over
Ferrora, in which Kraft had been killed. He replies that he had missed
the target the first time. Cathcart does not care that he has lost an
airplane and some men. He is only worried that Yossarian’s actions will
make the report on the matter look "lousy." Colonel Korn suggests that
Yossarian be decorated with a medal for bravery so that people will not
raise questions. Yossarian is given a medal and elevated to the rank of
Captain.
Chapter 14: KID SAMPSON
It is the time of the mission to Bologna, and Yossarian is trying to
get his pilot, Kid Sampson, to turn the plane around and head back to
Pianosa. Yossarian cuts the wires of his intercom system as a pretext
to turn back. Sampson and the rest of the crew are only too happy to
return.
When they reach Pianosa the men are subdued in spirit. The base is
nearly empty since most of the men are on a mission to Bologna.
A sense of desolation is evident as Yossarian walks alone to the empty
beach. While on the beach Yossarian watches as the twelve flights of
planes return from Bologna. The mission was successful as there was no
enemy fire in Bologna.
Chapter 15: PILTCHARD and WREN
Captain Piltchard and Captain Wren, the joint squadron operations
officers, think that nothing as wonderful as war has ever happened to
them. Wren tells the men that though the mission to Bologna has
appeared a success, not much damage was inflicted on the German Forces.
The men have to go on a second run to Bologna. This time Yossarian is
to fly lead bomber.
On the second run, McWatt's plane is heavily fired upon. This time the
Germans are ready for the Americans. Yossarian is close to tears as he
watches the shells zip by. Yossarian is able to drop his bombs with
some success. But Aarfy, who lights a pipe inside his plane, gets on
Yossarian’s nerves. Orr is hit and one of his engines stalls, but he
manages to bring the plane safely back to Pianosa. Yossarian gets ready
to leave for the emergency rest leave he has decided to take in Rome.
Chapter 16: LUCIANA
Yossarian meets Luciana, an Italian girl, at the Allied officer’s club
in Rome. Yossarian buys her dinner. Luciana eats like a horse and then
tells Yossarian that she will not sleep with him that night but the
next morning.
Yossarian is alone. He goes to the cabaret hoping that the "bleary-eyed
bleached blonde" girl who was with Aarfy will sleep with him. Yossarian
is unsuccessful in this endeavor. Aarfy has already seen off the
blonde. He sent her home because she appears to be a nice girl, and
Aarfy claims that he never treats nice girls as prostitutes. Yossarian
is again angered by Aarfy.
The next morning, Luciana comes to Yossarian’s room. They have sex.
When Yossarian asks Luciana to marry him, she tells him that he is
crazy. She says she cannot marry Yossarian because she is not a virgin.
Joe comes into the room without knocking to see Yossarian. When he sees
Luciana, Joe tries to take photographs of her. Luciana is wearing only
a pink chemise; Yossarian yells at her to get dressed while he wards
off Joe.
Yossarian and Luciana push past Joe and run out into the corridor. On
the stairs, they meet Nately who has just wasted away all his pay on
the prostitute he loves. On the street, Luciana gives Yossarian her
address on a piece of paper. As soon as she is gone, Yossarian tears up
the paper, and throws the pieces into the gutter. At once, he feels
terrible remorse. He misses her greatly. He searches for her but cannot
find her anywhere. Instead he goes to the maid in the lime-colored
panties and has sex with her.
Yossarian goes back to Pianosa. He meets Joe, who tells him that
Cathcart has raised the required number of missions from thirty- five
to forty. Yossarian, who has thirty-two missions, decides to enter the
hospital.
Chapter 17: THE SOLDIER IN WHITE
Yossarian is in the hospital. He is determined to remain there forever
and not fly any more. For him, being in the hospital is a better
prospect than being outside and watching others being killed. In the
hospital people die too, but they die neater and more orderly.
Yossarian prefers the hospital, even though the management is
"meddlesome" and the rules are restrictive. Yossarian is joined in the
ward by the Texan, Dunbar, and the soldier in white. The soldier in
white frightens the other patients by his ghostly appearance. His
fellow patients are afraid that he will begin moaning through the
night. The Texan, however, is quite fond of the soldier in white and
wants the entire ward to get acquainted with him.
Nurse Cramer and Nurse Duckett look after the soldier in white. They
brush his bandages and scrub his plaster casts. Yossarian thinks about
all the dangers to his life. He is afraid that he might get some
strange disease. Each day he faces is a mission against mortality. He
is twenty-eight years old.
Yossarian leaves the hospital because he does not like the Texan, but
he is back in ten days when Cathcart raises the required number of
missions.
Chapter 18: THE SOLDIER WHO SAW EVERYTHING TWICE
When Yossarian is a private at Lowery Field, he complains of a pain in
his right side in order to avoid a calisthenics class. He is placed
under observation. An English intern tells Yossarian not to fake
appendix pain but to fake liver pain. After ten days, a group of
doctors come to Yossarian and tell him to leave because he is in
perfect health.
At that moment, another patient in the ward shouts, claiming to see
everything twice. Doctors and nurses rush to him. Each specialist wants
to claim him as his own patient. But the doctors cannot understand what
is wrong with the soldier who sees everything twice. Yossarian spends
Thanksgiving inside the hospital. He decides to spend every remaining
Thanksgiving in a hospital. The next year he breaks his oath, spending
Thanksgiving with Scheisskopf’s wife in a hotel room. Yossarian tells
Mrs. Scheisskopf that he has very little to be thankful for, and that
God has done a bad job creating the universe. Although Mrs. Scheisskopf
claims that she is an atheist she gets upset when Yossarian paints a
picture of a "mean and stupid" God. It is the "most illogical
Thanksgiving" that Yossarian has ever spent.
The narrative returns to the previous year. Yossarian, who wants to
stay in hospital, imitates the soldier who saw everything twice.
Yossarian, too, claims that he can see everything twice. The doctors
rush toward him and check his eyesight. Each time the doctor holds up
his fingers, Yossarian replies that he can see two fingers. This is
strange because sometimes the doctor does not hold even one finger up.
Yossarian is taken into the room where the soldier who saw everything
twice is kept. Yossarian thinks the soldier is bluffing about his
illness. Yossarian gets a rude shock when the soldier dies. He then
tells the doctors that he sees everything once. Even when the doctor
holds up ten fingers, Yossarian says he only sees one.
Another doctor tells Yossarian that the relatives of the soldier who
died have come all the way from New York. They do not know that the
soldier is already dead, and have come to see him one last time. The
doctor tells Yossarian to play the part of the dying soldier, as he
does not want to disappoint the dead soldier’s family. Yossarian agrees
to play the part.
The family is Italian. The father and mother of the soldier do not
recognize that it is not their son. Even when Yossarian tells them his
real name, the family continues to mourn as if he is their son.
Yossarian is so moved that he begins to cry.
Chapter 19: COLONEL CATHCART
Cathcart desperately wants to be a general and will try anything,
including religion, to become one. The Colonel summons the chaplain to
his office. He shows the chaplain an editorial spread of The Saturday
Evening Post dealing with an American bomber group in England whose
chaplain said prayers before each mission. Cathcart wants Tappmann to
say prayers before each mission in Pianosa, so that the colonel’s
picture might be published. At the same time, he does not want the
chaplain to include any references to God in his prayers. He asks the
chaplain to pray for a tighter bomb pattern.
The chaplain wishes that, for his pre-mission prayers, the atheists
will be sent out and that the enlisted men will be brought in. Cathcart
gets upset because he does not want the enlisted men to be in the same
room as the officers when they pray. He decides to do without any
prayer.
The colonel distrusts the chaplain, and the chaplain is afraid of the
colonel. The chaplain tells Cathcart that he is concerned about
Yossarian whom he feels is a desperate man. He tells the colonel that
the men are upset over the number of missions being raised.
Chapter 20: CORPORAL WHITCOMB
The chaplain lives in a clearing in the woods along with his assistant,
Corporal Whitcomb. Whitcomb is an atheist and is openly rude and
contemptuous to the chaplain. Colonel Korn had decided that the
chaplain would live in the woods, not only because the chaplain would
be in closer communication with the men, but also because it kept the
chaplain far away from the headquarters.
The chaplain relishes the privacy and isolation of the woods. He is an
introvert who does not mix freely and misses his wife and children back
home. Whitcomb detests the seclusion of the woods. He tells the
chaplain that he has been met by a C.I.D man who is conducting an
investigation. According to the corporal, the C.I.D man suspects that
the chaplain is the one responsible for signing Washington Irving’s
name to letters, and also for intercepting Major’s correspondence.
Whitcomb tells the unhappy chaplain to be on his guard.
Chapter 21: GENERAL DREEDLE
Cathcart thinks of Yossarian as a menacing problem. The very sound of
his name makes the colonel’s blood run cold. He despises it because it
is not a clean, crisp, American name like Peckem or Cathcart. He
prepares a chart of all the bad things he feels Yossarian has done.
These include the second run over Ferrara, the moving of the bomb line
during the Bologna mission, and the appearance of a nude Yossarian at
the medal ceremony.
General Dreedle, the wing commander, is a fat man in his early fifties.
His favorite sentence is "war is hell." However, he makes a good living
out of the war and derives great pleasure from seeing that his
son-in-law, Colonel Moodus, does not enjoy himself. Dreedle has, in his
company, an irresistible, blonde nurse. On nights when Moodus is
around, the general forces her, to wear a tight, silk uniform that
shows of her figure, just to drive Moodus crazy. The presence of his
father-in-law has meant that Moodus has not been with a woman since he
has been in the war.
When Dreedle has come to give Yossarian his medal, he finds Yossarian
naked in the line. He refuses to wear clothes because Snowden has bled
all over his clothes when he was killed. Dreedle gives Yossarian the
medal, though Cathcart wants to punish Yossarian for his behavior.
At the briefing session just before the mission to Avignon, Yossarian
has begun a series of passionate sighs directed at Dreedle’s nurse;
Dreedle is angry and seizes Major Danby who has inadvertently blurted
out an "ooooh." Danby was supposed to brief the men about the mission.
Dreedle orders Danby shot for insubordination, and is surprised when he
is told by Moodus that he cannot order the shooting.
Colonel Korn takes up the task of briefing the men. He tries to impress
Dreedle by his efforts. But the general is not impressed and leaves the
room in a hurry.
Chapter 22: MILO THE MAYOR
On the mission to Avignon, Snowden, the radio-gunner, lay dying in the back of Yossarian’s plane.
The day the number of missions is raised to sixty, Dobbs asks for
Yossarian’s assistance to kill Cathcart. Yossarian objects to Dobbs’s
plan. Dobbs believes that the colonel will get the men killed if they
allow him to keep raising the number of missions. Dobbs only wants
Yossarian to give him the go-ahead to kill Cathcart, but Yossarian
refuses.
Yossarian is flying in Orr’s plane when it comes down in Sicily instead
of in Naples. There they are met by Milo who is busy conducting
business for his syndicate. Milo buys eggs in Sicily for one cent and
then creates a market for these eggs in Malta, before finally selling
them to the mess hall in Pianosa at five cents. Milo announces grandly
that "what’s good for the syndicate is good for the country." He asks
Yossarian if he is interested in making money by cheating the federal
government out of six thousand dollars. Yossarian is not interested.
Milo uses Yossarian and Orr to help in the transport of goods. They fly
to Palermo, where Milo gets a tremendous reception from the citizens.
Milo has been elected mayor of Palermo, and of many other cities in
Sicily because he has brought the scotch industry to Sicily. In Malta,
Milo is assistant governor-general because he has brought the egg trade
there. Milo is also vice- shah of Oran, the caliph of Baghdad, the imam
of Damascus, and the sheik of Araby. Graven images of his face are
worshipped in some regions of Africa. While in Cairo, Milo buys up all
the Egyptian cotton available. He also buys green red bananas in Cairo
which he sells in Istanbul, and caraway seeds in Beirut which he sells
in Bengazi. Milo’s plane arrives in Pianosa six days later with a load
of eggs from Sicily.
Chapter 23: NATELY’S OLD MAN
The setting is Rome. At Nately’s request, Dunbar, Yossarian, and Joe
accompany him and three prostitutes. In the house, there sits an old
man who cackles lasciviously while the room fills up with eleven
undressed girls. While Joe, Yossarian, and Aarfy busy themselves with
the prostitutes, Nately strikes up a conversation with the old man. The
man asserts that America will lose the war to Italy. Nately tries to
counter him by saying that America is the most powerful nation on
earth. The man agrees, but adds that America will one day be destroyed.
At this moment, Nately tries to capture the interest of his whore who
is bored and indifferent. Nately does not succeed and resumes his
conversation with the old man. The old man believes that victory causes
the victor to suffer from "insane delusions of grandeur." The old man
tells Nately that he has changed with the changing times. When the
Germans were in Italy, he was pro-German, and now that the Americans
are in Rome, he is pro-American. Nately dubs the old man "a turncoat."
The old man reveals that it is he who has wounded Major de Coverley in
the eye with a red rose during the victory parade in Rome.
The old man believes that risking one’s life for one’s country is a
silly thing to do, since a country is a piece of land surrounded by
unnatural boundaries. The old man asserts that it is better to live
than to die for one’s country. Nately cannot counter the old man’s
argument and searches in vain for Dunbar and Yossarian to help.
Nately is a sensitive, rich boy who has had a pleasant childhood. He
believes in the American tradition. His parents decided that Nately
would join the Air Corps when war broke out, be an officer, and mix
with gentlemen. Instead, Nately finds himself in a brothel in Rome. He
spends the night alone in the room, and the next morning when he tries
to make love, he is interrupted by the prostitute’s kid sister. He buys
the two sisters breakfast, and then follows the elder one on her
streetwalking rounds, before she is picked up by some soldiers.
Chapter 24: MILO
It is April, and Milo is busy conducting his business with a colonel in
Sardinia. He promises to bring the colonel casaba melons from Damascus
and lamb chops from Portugal if the colonel will lend him some planes.
A fighter plane commander who refuses to fly Milo is transferred to the
Solomon Islands.
Milo’s planes fly everywhere. His planes carry the name "M & M
Enterprises"; he even has German bombers working for his syndicate. One
day, Cathcart wants to confiscate the German bombers that Milo has
brought in from Madagascar, but Milo will have none of it. Milo’s
business has spread over all of Europe, except Russia.
Milo signs a contract with the American military authorities to bomb a
German-held bridge and signed with German authorities to defend the
same bridge from an American attack. Mudd is killed on this mission.
Yossarian accuses Milo of killing Mudd, but Milo reiterates that he was
merely fulfilling his business obligation. Milo receives a thousand
dollars from the Germans for every American aircraft shot down at
Orvieto.
The purchase of Egyptian cotton in Cairo has nearly caused the ruin of
Milo’s enterprise. There is no market for to sell the cotton. Milo
comes up with all kinds of innovations, including chocolate covered
cotton, hoping to sell it to the American soldiers. Meanwhile, Milo has
signed a contract with the Germans to bomb his own squadron. He
fulfills the terms of his contract and bombs Pianosa one night, much to
the chagrin of Cathcart and the other officers. Milo is condemned as a
traitor, but when he opens his account books and discloses the profit
he has made by bombing his own unit, he is forgiven.
Chapter 25: THE CHAPLAIN
The chaplain is plagued by doubts about the existence of God. The
chaplain believes he has either had a divine vision or a hallucination:
a naked man in the tree at Snowden’s funeral.
The chaplain is a lonely man who feels out of place in the Army. He is
often tormented by morbid fantasies involving his wife and three
children. He will dream that all four have been killed and their house
destroyed. He wants to write urgent love letters to his wife telling
her how much he loves her, but he can only manage to pen short, formal
letters.
The chaplain tries his best to speak to Major about the raising of the
number of missions, but the major is never in his office. On the way
back to his dwelling in the woods, the chaplain meets an emaciated
wretch who turns out to be Captain Flume. Flume has been hiding in the
forest because he is afraid that Halfoat will slit his throat.
Cathcart calls the chaplain to his office in order to speak to him
about the letters of condolence to be sent to the families of
casualties. Cathcart has a standard format for each letter, yet he
wants the letters to be full of personal details. Cathcart hopes his
ideas for the letters will get him a mention in The Saturday Evening
Post. He even volunteers his men for the next mission to Avignon so
that there will be more casualties and more letters to send.
Chapter 26: AARFY
On the weekly run to Parma, McWatt’s plane faces heavy fire. Yossarian
is injured in the thigh. Aarfy is insensitive to Yossarian’s cries for
help. McWatt gives over the controls to Nately, and dresses Yossarian’s
wound.
The wounded Yossarian lands up in hospital where he meets Dunbar.
Dunbar is busy playing a game called "pulling rank" and he asks
Yossarian to join him. Yossarian and Dunbar go on chasing junior
officers away from their hospital beds, and take their places.
Ultimately, Nurse Cramer comes along and orders Yossarian back to bed;
Nurse Duckett takes him by the ear and puts him back in bed.
Chapter 27: NURSE DUCKETT
Nurse Duckett is a tall, attractive woman who is "able, prompt, strict
and intelligent." One morning while Duckett is smoothing the sheets at
the foot of Yossarian’s bed, Yossarian puts his hand under her dress,
and Dunbar grabbed her bosom from behind. The commanding colonel scolds
Yossarian for taking indecent liberties with his nurses. Dunbar claims
responsibility for the attack on Duckett. The colonel thinks that
Yossarian is crazy. He sends Major Sanderson, the psychiatrist, to see
Yossarian.
Yossarian claims to have had a dream about a live fish. Major Sanderson
tries Freudian analysis, and realizes that Yossarian contradicts
himself. Yossarian claims that everything reminds him of sex. Major
Sanderson tells him that his promiscuous pursuit of women is an attempt
to assuage his "subconscious fears of sexual impotence." Because of the
"pulling rank" game that Yossarian and Dunbar play earlier, Sanderson
believes that Yossarian suffers from feelings of inadequacy and
rejection. He believes that Yossarian has a split personality because
he denies that he is Fortiori. He explains that Yossarian has
deep-seated survival anxieties, has a morbid aversion to dying, and is
a manic-depressive. He concludes that Yossarian is crazy. He decides to
send him home. By mistake, Fortiori is sent home instead of Yossarian.
Yossarian returns to combat. He meets Daneeka who tells him that the
Germans are retreating everywhere. The Allies have captured Paris and
the German air force has been destroyed. Daneeka is afraid that the
Germans will surrender and that the men at Pianosa will be sent to the
Pacific. Yossarian tells Daneeka, that he has been diagnosed as insane,
and therefore should be sent home. Daneeka retorts that only a crazy
man would agree to fly another mission.
Chapter 28: DOBBS
Yossarian meets Dobbs and agrees to kill Cathcart. This time, Dobbs
refuses to join Yossarian since he has completed sixty missions and is
hoping to be sent home. He tells Yossarian to ask Orr to help him kill
Cathcart.
Orr, meanwhile, has been shot down in the water again. The life jackets
in his plane fail to inflate because Milo has removed the
carbon-dioxide cylinders from the inflating chambers in order to make
ice-cream sodas for the officer’s mess hall. Milo has left notes in the
jackets that read: "What’s good for M&M Enterprises is good for the
country." Orr is adept at surviving in difficult conditions, and brings
his men back safely to Pianosa.
Yossarian is secretly hoping that on his next mission to northern
Italy, he will be able to divert the plane to Sweden or Switzerland and
escape. He gets irritated when he sees Orr repairing a stove in their
tent. Yossarian even thinks, momentarily, of killing Orr because he
finds his breathing repulsive and his stove-repair work disturbing. Orr
begs Yossarian to fly with him on his next mission, but Yossarian
refuses. On his next mission, Orr gets knocked down into the water
again. This time he drifts off alone, while his crew members are on
another raft. There is no further news about Orr. Yossarian has no
doubt that Orr will survive, but Orr does not come back.
Chapter 29: PECKEM
Scheisskopf, Yossarian’s commanding officer in his cadet days, is in
Rome. Scheisskopf now discontentedly reports for duty at General
Peckem’s office.
General Peckem is very fastidious and lays great stress on matters of
taste and style. He is a pompous officers who likes to bully his
subordinates. He thinks of himself as aesthetic and intellectual.
Scheisskopf is upset because he is not allowed to conduct parades
overseas. Peckem, however, allows him to announce every week that the
parades have been postponed. This gives Scheisskopf some relief. If he
cannot hold parades, he can at least postpone them.
Peckem is very fond of a neat, compact bomb pattern. He prefers that
bombs explode close together so as to make a neat aerial photograph. He
does not care whether the bombs hit the target so long as they fall in
a pattern.
Meanwhile, in Pianosa, the men are being briefed about a mission to a
tiny mountain village in Italy. The American planes have to bomb the
village in order to create a road block so that the Germans cannot pass
through. It means endangering the lives of the Italian villagers and
destroying their homes. No leaflets have been dropped to warn the
Italian villages. Dunbar protests the bombing. His protests are quickly
stifled as Colonel Korn asks whether the men would prefer going to
Bologna instead.
Chapter 30: DUNBAR
While on the mission to the Italian village, Yossarian does not bother
where he drops his bombs, and Dunbar drops his bombs hundreds of yards
past the village. Though McWatt is a good pilot, Yossarian does not
enjoy flying with him, because McWatt will fly his plane too low for
the thrill. On one occasion, Yossarian loses his nerve and threatens to
kill McWatt if he does not take the plane higher.
McWatt never misses an opportunity to fly low over the beach of
Pianosa. Yossarian and Duckett spend the evenings together on the
beach. They have begun a physical relationship, much to the disapproval
of Nurse Cramer, who does not like Yossarian.
One day, while McWatt is flying low above the beach, Sampson reaches up
from his raft, and the next instant, the propeller of McWatt’s plane
has sliced away the upper half of his body. People on the beach start
screaming and running away. McWatt takes his plane higher and allows
the two trainee pilots on board to bail out. As Yossarian realizes what
McWatt is planning, he pleads with him to come down. But, McWatt dips
his plane’s wings in salute and flies into a mountain.
Cathcart raises the number of missions to sixty-five.
Chapter 31: MRS. DANEEKA
Sergeant Towser strikes Daneeka’s name from the roster of squadron
personnel. The records show that Daneeka was in McWatt’s plane to
collect flight time . Since only the two trainee pilots parachute out
of McWatt’s plane, it is believed that Daneeka has died in the crash.
In reality, he is very much alive, but no one will believe this, not
even his assistants, Gus and Wes, who tell him that he is dead, and
should have no temperature at all.
Meanwhile, in America, Mrs. Daneeka receives a telegram stating that
her husband has been killed in action. Initially, Mrs. Daneeka is
heartbroken by the news and wonders how she will manage to look after
herself and her children. She receives a letter which bears her
husband’s signature telling her that he is alive. The war department
again notifies Mrs. Daneeka that her husband is dead and that the
letter she received is a forgery.
Mrs. Daneeka’s grief is soon mitigated by the huge amounts of money she
receives from her husband’s life insurance. The husband’s of her
closest friend begins to flirt with her.
Back in Pianosa, Daneeka is having a terrible time trying to convince
people that he is alive. He no longer receives his pay or rations and
depends for survival on the charity of Towser and Milo. Cathcart
refuses to see him. Even Captain Flume recoils from him. Daneeka comes
to the conclusion that for all practical purposes, he is dead. He
writes an impassioned letter to his wife begging her to bring his
plight to the attention of the war department. Mrs. Daneeka is tempted
to reply, but the same day she receives a letter of condolence from
Cathcart and decides to move with her children to Michigan, leaving no
forwarding address.
Chapter 32: YO-YO’S ROOMIE’S
Yossarian is joined by four more soldiers who replace Sampson and
McWatt. These new recruits are younger than Yossarian, eager and
exuberant, They are kids of twenty-one who have come to take Orr’s
place in Yossarian’s tent. Yossarian cannot stand these recruits and
complains to Towser.
Halfoat believes that he is dying of pneumonia. Captain Flume has come
back from the forest to live in the trailer. It is now winter time. The
new recruits in Yossarian tent get rid of Mudd’s cot and belongings and
burn up Orr’s birch logs. Yossarian is alarmed . He fears that they
will get rid of him, too. He runs off to Rome with Joe.
Chapter 33: NATELY’S WHORE
Yossarian is in Rome. He searches for Luciana, but is unable to find
her and satisfies his physical desires by visiting other whores.
Meanwhile Nately’s prostitute is being held captive by some
high-ranking officers. Nately, Yossarian, and their companions go to
the officer’s apartment to rescue her. They throw the officer’s clothes
out into the street and take Nately’s love away with them.
Nately is extremely possessive. He does not want her to be seen naked
even by her friends, who have already seen her naked countless times.
He also wants her to give up prostitution, but she will not comply with
him.
Chapter 34: THANKSGIVING
Yossarian is wakened by the sound of machine-gun fire while he is
sleeping in his tent. On Thanksgiving, he realizes that an American
soldier is playing a prank. Yossarian hopes to shoot the prankster.
Nately follows Yossarian and tries to stop him but Yossarian punches
Nately in the nose.
Nately ends up in hospital with a broken nose. Duckett tells Yossarian
that she has decided to marry a doctor. The chaplain tells a lie in
order to enter the hospital. He is very pleased with himself for having
told a lie. Meanwhile, the soldier in white makes a reappearance.
Duckett informs Yossarian that the soldier is a certain Lieutenant
Schmulkar who is burnt all over. She tells Yossarian that the
authorities are going to "disappear" Dunbar.
Chapter 35: MILO THE MILITANT
Halfoat dies of pneumonia. Yossarian begs Nately not to volunteer to
fly more than seventy missions. Nately, however, wishes to fly more
missions, so that he will not be sent home. He wants to be near his
beloved Italian girlfriend.
Milo meets Cathcart and asks to be sent on more missions. Cathcart is
stunned by Milo’s demand. Milo states that he has flown only five
missions in eleven months, and wants to have the opportunity to fly
more missions in order to gain fame. Cathcart agrees. He tells Milo
that he will take on the task of running "M & M Enterprise" while
Milo flies more missions. When Milo reveals the extent of the
syndicate’s operations, Cathcart decides that Milo’s services on behalf
of the syndicate are indispensable. He refuses to give Milo permission
to fly any more missions. Instead he accepts Milo’s suggestion that
someone else should fly Milo’s mission in his name. Cathcart decides to
raise the number of missions to eighty.
At dawn the next day the alert is sounded. The men are rushed to the
airfield before they can have a proper breakfast. Intelligence has
reported that a disabled Italian cruiser is to be scuttled at the
entrance of the harbor at La Spezia so as to deprive the Allied armies
of port facilities when they arrive. The intelligence report proves
correct and the American airplanes blow apart the Italian Cruiser.
However, the American planes have to face a barrage of anti-aircraft
fire. In the enduing confusion, Dobbs makes a false move and skids his
plane into Nately’s. Both planes crash, and Dobbs and Nately are
killed.
Chapter 36: THE CELLAR
Twelve men have died in the mission to La Spezia. The two hundred men
who have returned stand on the field at Pianosa maintaining a "heavy
silence." Their faces are blank and dejected.
On the field, the chaplain breaks down and cries when he learns of
Nately’s death. Suddenly, he is taken by a stout, pugnacious colonel to
the building at headquarters. The fat colonel, a thin major, and a tall
M.P. lead the chaplain down a flight of stairs to a basement. There,
they begin interrogating him.
They treat him with disrespect. They asks the chaplain to write down
his name. The major accuses the chaplain of forging someone else’s
handwriting . The chaplain is stupefied by their accusations. The
colonel shows the chaplain the letter which began "Dear Mary" and to
which Yossarian has signed his name. Though the chaplain recognizes
Yossarian’s handwriting, he reveals nothing that will incriminate
Yossarian.
The officers then accuse the chaplain of being the prankster who has
signed Washington Irving’s name. They also accuse him of stealing a
plum tomato from Cathcart’s office. The chaplain pleads innocent to all
charges. The officers reach the conclusion that the chaplain is guilty
on all counts. They let him go for the time-being while they are
planning how and when to punish him. They tell the chaplain that he
will be under surveillance twenty- four hours a day.
The chaplain wishes to complain to Dreedle about the treatment meted
out to him. Colonel Korn tells the chaplain that Dreedle had Dr. Stubbs
transferred to the Pacific because he had protested against the raising
of the number of missions.
Chapter 37: GENERAL SCHEISSKOPF
Peckem had just replaced Dreedle at Wing Headquarters. When he receives
the news that Colonel Scheisskopf has been promoted to the rank of
lieutenant general, Peckem is stunned since he had expected that
promotion. Scheisskopf, who was formerly General Peckem’s junior
officer, is now his superior. Peckem phones Wintergreen and tells him
that it is all his fault. Scheisskopf is now the top boss and he orders
everyone to march.
Chapter 38: KID SISTER
Following Nately’s death, Yossarian marches backward with his gun on
his hip and refuses to fly any more missions. When Yossarian breaks the
news of Nately’s death to Nately’s girlfriend in Rome, she attacks him
and tries to stab him with a potato peeler. She kicks Yossarian in the
groin and throws a glass ash tray and vase at him. She tries to stab
him with a bread- knife. Yossarian escapes from the house where she
works and rushes out into the street. But everywhere he goes she
follows him. She is even waiting at the military airport in Pianosa and
tries to kill Yossarian when he steps off the plane. Yossarian has her
flown back to Rome, but she turns up again near his tent. Finally,
Yossarian and Joe fly over enemy territory and drop her, with a
parachute on to her back, behind enemy lines.
Appleby meets Yossarian and tells him about the dangers of refusing to
fly any more missions. Yossarian asks Havermeyer to join him in his
protest against Cathcart, but Havermeyer refuses because he wants to
stay in the reserves and get five hundred dollars a year when the war
is over.
During the day, the soldiers at Pianosa avoid meeting Yossarian, but at
night men keep popping out of the darkness to ask Yossarian about how
he is faring. Yossarian hears from Captain Black that the prostitutes
in Rome, including Nately’s and her kid sister, have been thrown into
the street by the American military police.
Chapter 39: THE ETERNAL CITY
Yossarian is flying with Milo to Rome. He is going AWOL. Milo upbraided
Yossarian for his refusal to fly more missions. Milo is afraid that
other soldiers might also refuse to fly more missions. Milo advises
Yossarian to go to Russia instead of stirring up trouble in Pianosa.
When Yossarian arrives in Rome, he sees a city in ruins. The airdrome
has been bombed, and the Coliseum is a dilapidated shell. In the
apartment he meets the old woman who lives there. She tells Yossarian
that all the young girls were chased away into the street by the
military police. When the girls asked why they were being thrown out,
the police replied "Catch-22." The lecherous old man is dead. Yossarian
asks the old woman about Nately’s girlfriend and her kid sister. The
old woman can only tell him that they have "gone."
Yossarian asks Milo to help him find Nately’s prostitute’s
twelve-year-old kid sister. They go to the Italian police headquarters
where the police commissioner gets Milo interested by talking to him
about illegal dealings in tobacco. Milo loses interest in the search.
Yossarian leaves Milo at the police headquarters and walks out into a
"dark, tomblike street."
In the street he sees a poor boy in tattered clothes with a sad, sickly
face. Yossarian is moved by his poverty. Yossarian’s mind is full of
sadness at the thought of so much sickness and evil in the world. As he
walks he hears the cries of prostitutes and battered women. It is a
night filled with horrors, and Yossarian has a strange feeling that he
has seen it all before. He wishes that he could lie down with some girl
and make love to her; but all the girls he knows and desires are gone.
Yossarian thinks of Michaela, a maid in the officer’s apartment. When
he reaches the apartment he is shocked to find her dead body lying on
the pavement. Aarfy has raped and killed her. Yossarian finds Aarfy
inside the building and asks him why he killed Michaela. He tells Aarfy
that the police will arrest him for murder, but Aarfy is confident that
he will not be arrested. The military police come and arrest Yossarian
for being in Rome without a pass. Yossarian spends the night in a cell,
and the next day is taken to Pianosa and into Cathcart’s office, where
Colonel Korn tells him that he is to be sent home.
Chapter 40: CATCH-22
Korn tells Yossarian that he has worked out a deal in order to send
Yossarian home. He is willing to send Yossarian home as a decorated war
hero as long as Yossarian speaks well of Korn when he gets back to
America. Yossarian accepts the deal. The two colonels and Yossarian
begin to act very friendly toward each other, even calling each other
by pet names. Yossarian leaves Cathcart’s office in a buoyant mood.
Outside the office, he is saluted by a private in green fatigues who
turns into Nately’s girlfriend and tries to kill Yossarian. He is saved
by Cathcart and Korn who rush out of the office in time to frighten her
away.
Chapter 41: SNOWDEN
Yossarian is in hospital. The prostitute’s attack has left him wounded
and unconscious. The chaplain visits him and tells him that he risked
his life saving Cathcart from a Nazi assassin. Yossarian asserts that
it was only Nately’s girlfriend. Yossarian tells the chaplain about the
deal he made to go home. The chaplain thinks it as an odious deal.
Yossarian decides not to go ahead with the deal. He would prefer to
desert or fly more missions. The chaplain tells Yossarian that Joe died
in his sleep.
When Yossarian is alone a strange man with a mean face dressed in a
patients bathrobe approaches him and jeers: "We’ve got your pal."
Yossarian is unnerved by his presence. He tries to attack the strange
man, but the man glides away and vanishes. At night, Yossarian thinks
of the death of the young tail-gunner Snowden. He remembers his frantic
efforts to dress his wounds and keep him warm. He remembers how Snowden
died in his arms.
Chapter 42: YOSSARIAN
Yossarian tells Major Danby that he is breaking his deal with Cathcart
and Korn. Danby is surprised and tells Yossarian that Cathcart will
initiate court-martial proceedings against him if Yossarian does not
accept. They will probably charge Yossarian with incompetence,
insubordination, refusal to engage the enemy, and desertion. He tells
Danby that he will probably run away.
The chaplain runs in excitedly, carrying news that Orr is safe in
Sweden. Orr has rowed all the way; Yossarian realizes that Orr had
planned his escape all along and that crashing into the sea was part of
a clever plan. Yossarian regrets that he had refused to fly with Orr,
when Orr had asked him. Danby tries to dissuade Yossarian from running
away, but he has made up his mind to follow Orr’s lead. The chaplain is
ecstatic and helps Yossarian get ready for the journey . Yossarian
decides to go to Rome, pick up the prostitute’s sister, and leave for
Sweden. Yossarian boards a plane and jumps out with a parachute.
Nately’s prostitute is waiting by the plane door and tries to stab
Yossarian as he jumps. The knife misses him by inches, and he survives.
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